Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
are you so shy because you have an std?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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