You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
