I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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