he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
