dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
