yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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