If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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