Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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