so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
