she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
