Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
