I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
