drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I puked a lego.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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