I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
