It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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