when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
