Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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