Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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