I wish I could teleport
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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