once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
