is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
