Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I intend to get homeless drunk
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
