is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
