after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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