I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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