guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
