so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
