is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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