dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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