Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
