Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
