so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
