so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
