oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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