hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize