I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
