So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
