And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
