The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
