i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
