its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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