I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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