You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
