i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
