Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
