She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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