I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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