they need to just BURY HIM!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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