But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
