maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize