Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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