Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
