i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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