Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
