Sponge bath it is.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
