JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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