So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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