Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
