You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
