i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
