I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
