is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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