you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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