This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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