Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
