I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
