We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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