remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
