I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize