Your face is a jimmy john
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
