did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
