I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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