I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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