I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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